


Take Me To Church

by NotEvenCloseToStraight



Series: Playlist [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Family Dynamic, Based on Hozier, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Past Period Typical Homphobia, Post Avengers 2012, Slightly Blasphemous Jokes, Song fic, Steve Rogers Feels, TAKE ME TO CHURCH, Thundershield - Freeform, Wrestling Means Sex, innuendos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-09-23 12:16:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20339974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotEvenCloseToStraight/pseuds/NotEvenCloseToStraight
Summary: “Okay so,” Tony reached across Rhodey to steal most of the egg rolls off the plate. “Thor says he wants to wrestle and I swear Steve almost died. Almost expired right there in the gym. Thor said something about a little death and being sent to Valhalla or something? And then Steve basically died. Heart failure, probably.”“Or his dick exploded.” Clint pointed out, shoving noodles into his mouth at an alarming rate. “Cause of death, god-caused orgasm. What a way to go.”“You're all animals.” Natasha said calmly, picking her way through a vegetarian plate with Pepper. “I’m not saying Steve doesn’t have a ten inch hard on for our resident celestial–” Pepper inhaled broccoli. “– but Steve’s issue with Thor is probably because Steve grew up in a time when there was definitely only one god and he certainly didn’t look like a walking wet dream.”Rhodey slapped Tony’s hand away from another egg roll. “So Captain America doesn’t have a problem with aliens, wormholes, magic or waking up seventy years in the future, but multiple gods is where he draws the line?”////(Thundershield gets together and the team gossips.)(Inspired by Hoziers "Take Me To Church")





	Take Me To Church

**Author's Note:**

> My favorite ThunderShield dynamic includes hopelessly stupidly in love Steve with shameless!Thor, so enjoy our two favorite blonds in a short story inspired by Hoziers “Take Me To Church”.
> 
> Note: The linked video is of Sergei Polunin dancing to the song, because Hozier’s original video is very powerful but also needs TW and this story is about people discovering/enjoying the beauty of their love. Also, there are general jokes that skew towards blasphemous, and mentions of past period typical homophobia but nothing terrible. 
> 
> Another Note: this is not near as serious as you expect
> 
> Enjoy!

[(TAKE ME TO CHURCH) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-tW0CkvdDI)

_“There’s only one god, ma’am.” Steve said confidently. “And I’m pretty sure he doesn’t dress like that.”_

Famous last words, as the saying goes.

The Battle for New York taught Steve Rogers, —Captain America, the Star Spangled Man with a Plan, the Man Out of Time, Stars and Gripes (as Tony so lovingly called him)— about a lot of things, like portals in space and aliens and mild mannered scientists that turned into horrifying rage monsters. 

But the one thing Steve hadn’t been prepared to learn, the one thing that kept him up at night and _up _in the shower and _up _every damn day of his unexpectedly 21st century life—

There definitely was more than one god, and the one named Thor dressed however he damn well pleased.

Or _didn’t _dress however he damn well pleased, as the current case was.

“Thor.” Steve forgot to check his strength and the sparring bag ripped off the chain, flew across the gym and dented the wall next to a suddenly screaming Clint. “What—what—I—_shit_.”

“Steven.” Thor replied evenly, mopping at his sweaty _naked _body with a hand towel, never breaking eye contact with Steve. “How are you?” 

“I–” 

Steve was _broken_, is what he was. 

Three months he’d been trying to convince himself he wasn’t out of his mind with lust over a deity and yet Thor did things like _this_, like walk around naked, like flaunt his body while his eyes sparked lightning, like Steve wasn’t two heartbeats away from falling to his knees and _begging_– 

“Hey big guy, I told you the rules about full frontal nudity in the gym, right?” Tony, fresh from yoga with Tasha and Pepper, who had exactly zero issue ogling everything Thor was presenting. “Not all of us are swinging hammers below the belt, stop making us self conscious.” 

“Oh I’m not self conscious!” Pepper called from the other side of the gym, and at her side, Natasha put two fingers in her mouth and whistled loudly. “I’m not feeling self conscious at all! Stay naked Thor!” 

“Ms. Potts.” Thor sent the petite redhead a knowing grin, but nevertheless redirected the hand towel to cover more of his nudity. “Apologies, I didn’t realize anyone other than Steven was in here.” 

“Oh.” Tony blinked. “So you were flashing your dangly bits specifically _for _Steve? Or—” 

“Tony!” Steve hissed, thinking he might actually pass out if he blushed any harder. “Stop that!” 

“I know that Steve is a warrior of my caliber.” Thor pointed out calmly. “And I wanted to ask him to wrestle.” 

“Buck naked?” For all his insistence of Thor covering up, Tony wasn’t even trying to look away from the demi gods backside. “…Can I watch?” 

Steve closed his eyes and– not for the first time since meeting the fast talking, quick smiling brunette– contemplated murder. 

“No.” Thor answered firmly and Tony’s mouth dropped a little. “No, this is a a moment I intend only for myself and Steven.” 

“Yes.” Steve blurted and both Tony and Thor– and from across the gym, a wide eyed Clint– turned to look at him. “Yes I could wrestle. We could– we could wrestle. I want to wrestle with you.” 

“This will be very fun.” Thor’s grin glinted with just an edge of _knowing_. 

“Very fun.” Steve repeated numbly. “Oh god, I don’t know if I’ll survive this. This will kill me.” 

“But a deathless death, is it not?” Thor rumbled, low and startlingly intimate and Steve’s eyes snapped up to meet the demi gods. 

“…A deathless death.” he repeated because oh– _oh_–**oh **Thor was talking about—

“Have you found Valhalla?” Tony was forgotten and Clint forgotten and the shockingly inappropriate cat calls from the women forgotten as Thor took a step closer to Steve. “Lately? Recently? On your own?” 

“We call it heaven.” Steve stumbled forward a step too, nearly falling but catching himself on a sweat slick bicep and squeezing hard. “And yes, on my own.” 

Lightning lit in Thor’s eyes. “A better place if you and I are sent there together.” 

“Oh.” Steve swallowed hard. “_Oh_.” 

“Hungry?” Thor’s smile was wicked and Steve was _wanting _as he whispered back. “_Starving_.” 

**************

“Okay so then?” Tony reached across Rhodey to steal most of the egg rolls off the plate. “Thor says he wants to wrestle and I swear to God, Steve almost died. Almost expired right there in the gym. Thor said something about not really dying but being sent to Valhalla or something? And then Steve basically died. Heart failure, probably.” 

“Or his dick exploded.” Clint pointed out, shoving noodles into his mouth at an alarming rate. “Cause of death, surprised by a god-caused orgasm. What a way to go.” 

“You are all animals.” Natasha said calmly, picking her way through a vegetarian plate with Pepper. “I’m not saying Steve doesn’t have a ten inch hard on for our resident celestial–” Pepper inhaled broccoli. “– but Steve’s issue with Thor might actually be because Thor is a _god _and Steve grew up in a time when there was definitely only one god and he certainly didn’t look like a walking wet dream.” 

“You think?” Rhodey slapped Tony’s hand away from another egg roll. “Captain America doesn’t have a problem with aliens and wormholes and magic and waking up seventy years in the future, but having multiple gods is where he draws the line?” 

“You’re all forgetting Steve has seen some pretty unbelievable things, even before waking up.” Bruce pointed out. “Hydra was creating weapons back then that bordered on magical. He saw what happened to Schmidt being turned into the Red Skull, he saw the guy get zapped to a different portal. And beyond that, the guy is _Irish_. He might only believe in one god, but if you think he didn’t grow up hearing stories about fairies and all that? You’re wrong.” 

“So you don’t think he has a problem with Thor being a god.” Pepper clarified. “It’s not a religion issue.” 

“Oh no, it’s religious alright.” Bruce stabbed at an egg rolls, ignoring Tony’s gasp of outrage. “But it has less to do with ‘how many gods’ and more to do with what Steve wants to _do _with god.” 

A round of collective ‘_ohs_’ from the table, and then Clint– “I mean, yeah. It’s a big jump when the topic of your prayers turns from ‘Bless mama and papa and the potatoes’ over to ‘Dear god, I’d really like you to stick it in me, also thanks for your blessings and your bounty’.” 

“Stop that.” Natasha kicked at him. “No one _actually _prays to Thor.” 

“But he’s right.” Pepper interceded. “Being gay was a lot bigger deal back then, and if Steve struggled with feeling guilty for his feelings, imagine the guilt when he’s not only with a man, but that man happens to be a god. That brings up all _sorts _of issues.” 

“Well it brings up one _specific _issue, anyway.” Tony countered, and then _ack_!ed when Rhodey threw a pillow at him. “What! I’m just saying I’m sure Steve is being properly supplicant! Probably on his knees _praying _to Thor right now!” 

Rhodey and Bruce shared an equally pained look while the rest of the team collapsed into helpless giggles. 

Earth’s mightiest heroes? Or a bunch of blasphemous degenerates?

“The good news is–!” Rhodey finally raised his voice above the noise. “Thor is pretty great, and he’ll be sure to show Steve that being together is beautiful, not sinful or wrong or any of the other things they yell from the pulpit on Sunday mornings.” 

Murmurs of agreement around the table, and then Clint one last time– “I’m just saying? I’d let Thor take me to church _any _day of the week. Praise Jesus.” 

“You’re all going to hell.” Bruce informed the group, and whatever else Clint said was drowned out in laughter. 

*****************

“I could worship here forever.” Thor whispered, and Steve arched his back and cried out when powerful hands gripped at his legs to hold them open, when Thor’s mouth and lips and tongue found their place between his thighs.

_Yes _they had wrestled, yes they had _wrestled_, grappling at each other in the hot gym, rolling around the mats with their bodies rubbing together, stripping away shirts so sweat soaked skin slid over sweat soaked skin. 

Hands never slipped, but only purposefully strayed, and Steve hadn’t been able to quiet his moan when Thor had pinned him to the mat. He’d broken the hold and scrambled away but Thor was on him again, again and again, and when their legs tangled and muscles _strained_, it had been Thor who had gasped something unholy and shoved Steve flat on his back to cover him in a bruising kiss. 

And Steve thought– a tad hysterically of course– of all the Sundays he’d sat in church and stared up at the stained glass windows of the saints, all the Sundays he’d knelt by the alter and prayed, all the times he’d admitted his sins and repented, the weeks he’d felt guilty for looking at boys longer than he should–

“Not sick.” he blurted, or more likely _slurred _because his mouth was loose and jaw sore and tongue tired and voice hoarse after taking Thor and taking Thor and _taking _Thor so far down his throat. “Beautiful.” 

“Yes.” for all of Thor’s teasing, for his lack of understanding when it came to Earthly things, he was not silly nor was he stupid and he knew exactly what Steve was saying and why he was saying it. “Beautiful.” 

_Worship_. Was Steve’s last coherent thought when Thor split him open and took him apart and stripped him down to nothing more than sunlit pleasure. 

_Should have worshiped here sooner. _


End file.
